All Articles Tagged Humor

Breaking: Woz Brokers Handshake Between Griffin, Ferrera

Kathy Griffith
figure 1: Woz is now apparently openly dating Kathy Griffin. Just humor me, I’m sick.

Steve “Woz” Wozniak, Segway-Polo-playing co-founder of Apple, brokered a handshake at the 2007 Emmy Awards celebration. The handshake marks the end of formal Kathy Griffin / America Ferrera hostilities. This handshake will likely go down in history as one of the more famous handshakes — right up there with Sadat-Rabin.



Interview: My One on One Interview with Fake Ed Colligan, Palm CEO

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In a rare candid interview, we sat down with Fake Ed Colligan, chief executive officer of Palm Computing. Ed graciously agreed to a conversation with us to discuss a number of relevant issues including Palm’s troubled past and market missteps in the handset industry. So let’s get to it.

TIB: Ed, first off I want to thank you for taking time out from your schedule to speak with us. I’m sure you’re a very busy guy these days, what with the board transition, the Elevation Partners deal, and shareholder approval.

Ed: Oh, not all. My pleasure. In fact I’m really not that busy these days.

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33% iPhone Price Cut Triples Sales

Piper Jaffray analyst Gene Munster notes that the iPhone sales have tripled since the price cut. There’s also a fun trail of percentage errors, too. It’s like following bread crumbs! Business2 has already fixed their error, but information week hasn’t yet. So let me show you Eric Zaman’s error:


figure 1: his errors. let me show you them.

Remember folks: math is hard. An increase x2, aka “double,” is 100%. Triple is 200%. It’s okay to say that it was 300% of original sales, sure. But it’s not a 300% jump. Pedantry out.

iPhone Sales Numbers

Homer Doh

Now that Apple has posted their sales numbers, some analyst doubters are poking their way out.

First up is Ted Wallingford of downloadsquad, who forgot that the 10 million mark goal is for the end of 2008, not 2007, and he’s just not excited about the hype anymore. When the sentence read this:

In order to achieve this feat now, he needs retail to sell 9 million units in four months

I could understand the premise of the article. But when it’s changed to this:

In order to achieve this feat now, he needs retail to sell 9 million units in four 16 months

ZOMG! They’re going to have to sell an extra two million at the same rate in the next year and a half. The comments there are worth a read.

And this sales analysis article is crud too, as noted by John Gruber of Daring Fireball (I’m pleased to note that we’re sponsoring his RSS feed this week). I would also hope that a stock analyst can work with graphs that are something other than linear. Otherwise… it may be time to find a new analyst. Here’s a hint, they don’t call it the “demand curve” for nothing.


Kidnapping and Extortion: The True Motivation Behind Apple’s Decision to Offer iPhone Rebates, Nyuk Nyuk

2007-09-10-200-iphone-rebate.gif

Something to lighten your dreary Monday morning, perhaps? A geek comic strip called HijinksEnsue has posted its hardy har har take on Apple’s abrupt decision to recompense iPhone users with Apple Store credits, or whatever they’re doling out to us.

Click to laugh, or roll your eyes.

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Rob Enderle: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Robenderle
figure 1: Rob Enderle, in the news for all the wrong reasons

Some people never learn the difference between positive attention and negative attention. Rob Enderle might be one of those people, but at least it keeps him in the news. From the New York Times:

Rob Enderle, president of the Enderle Group, a market research firm in San Jose, Calif., was skeptical of the store credit.

“A $100 credit could be perceived as adding insult to injury,” said Mr. Enderle, noting that store credits are seldom well received. “It’s a way to make you go buy something else, and gives the company a chance to make more money.”

Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. I’m not thinking “Sweet, Leopard will be a $29 upgrade,” or “time for a pair of noise-canceling headphones.” I’m sure no one is thinking “iPod Nano for $50″ either. Or “$100 iTunes certificate!” That’s certainly crossed no one’s mind. Really, I know the NY Times put him in there because it will get people to link to their story. Well, it worked. And I’m just sorry for everyone involved.

In other news, congrats on the NY Times quote, Kevin. Thank you for saying something intelligent instead of trolling to keep your name in the news via negative attention.

As Good A Reason as Any

Jeffery Harrell has as as good a reason as any to nominate Apple for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Satirical iPhone Wallpapers Prove Painfully Accurate

1228064766_b89b2ff126.jpg Josh Helfferich created a whimsical set of six satirical iPhone wallpapers to remind us all of the pitfalls of owning an iPhone. His first creation, titled “Attracting total strangers”, strikes close to home for me. I can’t use my iPhone in public without drawing immediate attention to myself.

Initially the allure was charming, but now I’ve grown so weary of attracting gawkers – strangers accosting me with stupid questions, asking me to demo features and functionality. I’m thinking of printing an FAQ card to hold up each time someone approaches me.

Yes, it is an iPhone

Yes, it is awesome

Yes, it works exactly as the TV ads depict

Yes, you are standing on my foot!

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iCheaters: Man Sells Cheating Girlfriend’s iPhone on Craigslist

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Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy buys girl iPhone to express his love. Girl cheats on boy. Boy sells cheating girl’s iPhone on Craigslist.

I love a happy ending.

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ZunePhone Parody Lampoons Microsoft, Hits Right Where it Hurts…Below the Belt and Above the Wallet

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRKIDdIaFyE[/youtube]

Oh snap! This video has all the best qualities of human expression – mockery, sarcasm, ridicule, taunting…reminds me of middle school, minus the bully who stole my lunch money.

Take that, Microsoft…and Greg Johnson! I’ll take back all that lunch money you stole from me in $50s and $100s.

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