iPhone users rocking out to their favorite tunes may damage more than their hearing, if new research published by Greenpeace has any basis in fact. The report claims that iPhone’s included headphones contain dangerous levels of toxic chemicals that may be harmful to reproductive organs, or “happy zone” for you boys and girls under the age of twelve.
Senior Scientist at Greenpeace Research Laboratories, Dr. David Santillo, says… “Two of the phthalate plasticisers found at high levels in the headphone cable are classified in Europe as ‘toxic to reproduction, category 2′ because of their long-recognised ability to interfere with sexual development in mammals. While they are not prohibited in mobile phones, these phthalates are banned from use in all toys or childcare articles sold in Europe. Apple should eliminate the use of these chemicals from its products range.”.
Well, I’m convinced. If a left-wing extremist group conducted this research, it MUST be true. Just kidding, Greenpeace, I love you nutjobs. Read the rest of the report and scare the hell out of yourself. Oh, and if you’re married and trying to start a family, I’d start shopping for a pair of headphones. Uh huh.
First lead painted children’s toys, now this. Could this be part of a Chinese Communist plot to destroy western civilization by stifling our ability to reproduce? I think so.
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Timothy Smith of California once loved his iPhone. You could see him wandering the streets of San Jose with his face glued to the phone’s shiny black screen, tapping and pinching away, oblivious to everything around him like people crying out for help, oncoming traffic, lamp posts, etc. But that love affair ended over a week ago when Smith updated his unlocked iPhone to the infamous firmware update 1.1.1, rendering it iBricked. Since Apple refuses to support iPhones which have been “tampered with”, Smith did what any self righteous American consumer would do… he called his attorney and filed a class action suit.
What makes this case even more interesting, and utterly hilarious, is that it seeks not only to collect damages from Apple for the bricking of iPhones, but also demands an end to the practice of carrier locking phones entirely. Nothing short of lightening bolts from the sky reigning down on AT&T will bring an end to that; it’s part of life. Death - Taxes - and Carrier exclusive contracts.
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Store.apple.com is down right now, which usually means one of tow things. Either Apple’s IT staff is performing maintenance on their servers, or new products are about to be posted. Nope, neither is the case. The real reason; I bought a second iPhone today, and that brought the online store to its knees. Yes, that’s it. Take that, Apple. Fortunately the store went down after my iPhone shipped.
Now to track my package and bring Fedex down as well.
[update:] It’s back up and it appears to be nothing more than a maintenance update. I noticed the site was having issues throughout the day, shortly after I placed my order.
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Who can put a price on pain and suffering? Your attorney can, of course… to the total sum of a cool 1 Million dollars. Dongmei Li of Queens, New York (I didn’t know people living in Queens could afford iPhones) claims that Apple’s dramatic iPhone price cut is a flagrant violation of consumer price discrimination laws. Her suit alleges that the price cut hurts early adopters by deflating the iPhone’s resale value. I call that the price of early adoption, but apparently it is grounds for litigation. Who knew?
So let me get this straight… if I walk into Wal-Mart and buy a head of lettuce, which then subsequently drops in price by 20 cents after I leave the store, I can then sue Wal-Mart for damages? Hot damn! I’m going to start watching for those falling prices and little yellow smiley faces.
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Tech curmudgeon John C. Dvorak (the C stands for cranky) points the spotlight of criticism on Apple for its blatant act of bricking unlocked iPhones. He points out that in many overseas markets unlocked phones are common place, and a lucrative business. Hey, John… I agree with you, but trying to get Apple to change its policies is like trying to wrestle a half ton alligator. It’s a futile effort and just makes the gator angry.
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Well well well. Look who’s firmware update is spreading mass murder among unboxed iPhones. Reports are coming in from everywhere, and everyone but my Aunt Helen, that FW 1.1.1 is bricking factory fresh iPhones upon updating. So, even customers with iPhones that still have that new car smell are in the same sack of onions that we naughty unlockers are stuck in. Hmm. I’m going out on a limb and say that Apple rolled this update out a bit prematurely.
Apple support forums are filling up with angry posts from frustrated new iPhone owners pleading for help to revive their now otherwise paperweighted phones. And numerous readers have sent me stories about having to return their “new” iPhone thanks installing the update. Ruh Roh!
[Clarification] I want to clarify that my colorful use of the term “Brick” is used in general terms of otherwise fudging your iPhone. While I have read more than one or two cases of iPhones being rendered completely inaccessible, the problems resulting from the firmware update does no permanent damage to your iPhone…just renders it immobilized until help arrives.
Oh Steve, when will you learn? Your tight fisted control over iPhone’s software platform continues to effuse dissent among users. Now even your very own partners are lining up outside your door with torches and pitchforks. This time you’ve managed to piss off the folks at Sun Microsystems for excluding Java support in iPhone.
Java, for those of you who don’t know, is an application development environment that runs compatibly (in theory) across any platform. It’s creator, Sun, once boasted the platform’s promise of “Write once, run anywhere” applications that can be made to run on any runtime environment capable of supporting Java Virtual Machines. Though it never quite took off on the desktop, Java has come into its own in recent years on Mobile devices. Cell phones in particular.
The really insulting part is that Java runs on even the lowest common denominator phones on the market today. Even the Motorola RAZR can run Java apps. So it’s somewhat embarrassing, and damaging, that iPhone can’t.
Maybe I should refer Sun to my new “Feature Wish List” page? No, I don’t want to get myself in hot water. Ha! Get it, hot water? Coffee…water…hot? Ah forget it.
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Bad news, kiddies. Steve thinks we’re having too much fun with his expensive toy, and henceforth has abolished the practice of iPhone unlocking. Stop it. Just stop. You know it’s wrong, and puts wrinkles in Steve’s mock turtlenecks. This bombshell was just dropped from the belly of the mothership…
Apple has discovered that many of the unauthorized iPhone unlocking programs available on the Internet cause irreparable damage to the iPhone’s software, which will likely result in the modified iPhone becoming permanently inoperable when a future Apple-supplied iPhone software update is installed. Apple plans to release the next iPhone software update, containing many new features including the iTunes Wi-Fi Music Store (www.itunes.com), later this week. Apple strongly discourages users from installing unauthorized unlocking programs on their iPhones. Users who make unauthorized modifications to the software on their iPhone violate their iPhone software license agreement and void their warranty. The permanent inability to use an iPhone due to installing unlocking software is not covered under the iPhone’s warranty.
So there you have it, folks. Unlock your iPhone, void your warranty. This is absurd, and I half wonder if it’s merely a deliberate effort by Apple to back out of their warranty obligations.
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As if Nokia, Motorola, et. al., didn’t already have reason to shit themselves. Today’s news from The Street will have CEOs at every major handset maker pouring glasses of Pepto-Bismol and reading motivational posters. Senior Writer Scott Moritz reports that Apple will boost iPhone production for the fourth quarter to 2.7 Million units, nearly double original projections. Apparently Apple anticipates some kind of spike in demand in Q4.
Hey, you don’t suppose the recent price drop had something to do with this, do you? Nah, purely coincidental.
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Oh to be an analyst. I swear if I could have any job in the world that would surely be it - lounge around in a cushy office all day long, putting golf balls into an empty scotch glass, stare out the window, and occassionally publish insanely self evident studies about market directions and product trends.
Take this latest piece of work by ABI Research, for example. These jokers have determined that iPhone offers a glimpse of things to come for mobile internet devices. They see portable devices one day being used for such things as web browsing, text messaging, music playback, even capturing photos and video. My God, it’s like they have a crystal ball or something!
Anyway, read the study, have a laugh, then go back to your futuristic iPhone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to leave for work in my flying car.
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