All Articles Tagged News

You wouldn’t think of Paul Otellini as someone who uses “hip” consumer products, given his stodgy corporate background and boardroom persona. But beneath his mild professional demeanor lies a Mac fanboy and iPhone lover. Yes, his secret is out: Intel’s number one man uses a MacBook Pro, and both he and his spouse carry iPhones.

In a recent interview with BusinessWeek, Otellini admits to using Apple products for personal use, though he does preface his confession by saying that he still carries a ThinkPad for work, in the event Steve Ballmer should happen to stop by and catch him with a MacBook sitting in his lap.

By the way, am I the only one who is utterly dumbfounded by the continued success of the antiquated ThinkPad series? The damn things still look the same after nearly a decade… and they were ugly to begin with. If forced to carry a corporate portable (mind you, you’d have to hold a gun to my head) Dell’s Latitude line would be my first choice. Not that I’m enamored with Dell products, but their business portables are well designed, highly configurable, and decently priced.

Read

Oh Greenpeace, can’t you idiots just stick to rescuing dolphins or saving single-cell organisms? Today the colorful activist organization made good on its promise to sue Apple over toxic materials found in iPhone, and further seeks an injunction blocking the arrival of iPhone in Europe. If Greenpeace is successful, you boys and girls in Europe won’t be getting an iPhone come November 9. One more at a time.

Read

Apple’s fiscal fourth quarter ended in September, and the bean counters in every investment firm are hard at work following the money trail, speculating on Apple’s quarterly results. Bear Stearn analyst Andrew Neff, the man most well known for his crazy but prophetic predictions about the implosion and consolidation of the PC industry, believes that iPhone could be the start of something big. He tells investors that while deferred profit sharing with AT&T won’t have an immediate impact on Apple’s bottom line, he sees iPhone being a money machine, driving profits. Doesn’t it warm your heart to read those words?

Of course, what really drove profits this quarter were the purchase of two iPhones by one Kent Pribbernow. Yeah, don’t think I won’t be wanting stock options in return Apple. It’s time I start seeing some greenbacks. Capiche?

Read

Bonjour! My name is Jacques. On behalf of the people of France I would just like to say Merci to you Americans for exporting the Suprême iPhone. We French are quite accustomed to pinching and making gestures with our fingers, so the iPhone will be as second nature to us, oui? However, our country already has too many elitist assholes, so you may keep Steve Jobs. Just give us the iPhone and we can forget the unpaid loans you still owe us from the American Revolution. Did you swine think we had forgotten that our King Louis financed your war of independence, and allowed your con man, Benjamin Franklin, to rob our national treasury! Give us iPhone, and we give your freedom… and I don’t mean fries, mon ami.

Read les press release after les break.

Read the rest of this entry »

Alas, poor Palm. You just can’t seem to get a break these days, can you? First came that whole embarrassing Foleo fiasco (or Foolio as I like to call it), an ordeal not to be repeated. Then your long overdue Palm OS replacement gets pushed back, twice, not to appear for another 18 months. Now comes this latest report, certain to deliver yet another vigorous blow to the nuts.

The bean counters at NPD Group, who watch consumer buying habits like the Chinese Secret Police, have determined that a very large percentage of early iPhone owners migrated from Smartphones, particularly the Palm Treo and T-Mobile Sidekick. In fact, the study shows that consumers were ten times more likely to have abandoned a Treo in favor of iPhone. Which totally has me laughing my ass off at the numbskulls who so adamantly asserted that iPhone will NEVER attract Smartphone users, in a vein effort to write off any threat. Fear the fruit, boys. Fear the fruit.

Four years ago the Treo represented the pinnacle of mobile computing design and innovation. Today, it’s the Amish horse and buggy of Smartphones. Carriers may just as well give them away as Christmas ornaments for subscribers to hang on their trees. Nobody wants one.

Read

iPhone users rocking out to their favorite tunes may damage more than their hearing, if new research published by Greenpeace has any basis in fact. The report claims that iPhone’s included headphones contain dangerous levels of toxic chemicals that may be harmful to reproductive organs, or “happy zone” for you boys and girls under the age of twelve.

Senior Scientist at Greenpeace Research Laboratories, Dr. David Santillo, says… “Two of the phthalate plasticisers found at high levels in the headphone cable are classified in Europe as ‘toxic to reproduction, category 2′ because of their long-recognised ability to interfere with sexual development in mammals. While they are not prohibited in mobile phones, these phthalates are banned from use in all toys or childcare articles sold in Europe. Apple should eliminate the use of these chemicals from its products range.”.

Well, I’m convinced. If a left-wing extremist group conducted this research, it MUST be true. Just kidding, Greenpeace, I love you nutjobs. Read the rest of the report and scare the hell out of yourself. Oh, and if you’re married and trying to start a family, I’d start shopping for a pair of headphones. Uh huh.

First lead painted children’s toys, now this. Could this be part of a Chinese Communist plot to destroy western civilization by stifling our ability to reproduce? I think so.

Read

Timothy Smith of California once loved his iPhone. You could see him wandering the streets of San Jose with his face glued to the phone’s shiny black screen, tapping and pinching away, oblivious to everything around him like people crying out for help, oncoming traffic, lamp posts, etc. But that love affair ended over a week ago when Smith updated his unlocked iPhone to the infamous firmware update 1.1.1, rendering it iBricked. Since Apple refuses to support iPhones which have been “tampered with”, Smith did what any self righteous American consumer would do… he called his attorney and filed a class action suit.

What makes this case even more interesting, and utterly hilarious, is that it seeks not only to collect damages from Apple for the bricking of iPhones, but also demands an end to the practice of carrier locking phones entirely. Nothing short of lightening bolts from the sky reigning down on AT&T will bring an end to that; it’s part of life. Death – Taxes – and Carrier exclusive contracts.

Read

Store.apple.com is down right now, which usually means one of tow things. Either Apple’s IT staff is performing maintenance on their servers, or new products are about to be posted. Nope, neither is the case. The real reason; I bought a second iPhone today, and that brought the online store to its knees. Yes, that’s it. Take that, Apple. Fortunately the store went down after my iPhone shipped.

Now to track my package and bring Fedex down as well.

[update:] It’s back up and it appears to be nothing more than a maintenance update. I noticed the site was having issues throughout the day, shortly after I placed my order.

Read

Who can put a price on pain and suffering? Your attorney can, of course… to the total sum of a cool 1 Million dollars. Dongmei Li of Queens, New York (I didn’t know people living in Queens could afford iPhones) claims that Apple’s dramatic iPhone price cut is a flagrant violation of consumer price discrimination laws. Her suit alleges that the price cut hurts early adopters by deflating the iPhone’s resale value. I call that the price of early adoption, but apparently it is grounds for litigation. Who knew?

So let me get this straight… if I walk into Wal-Mart and buy a head of lettuce, which then subsequently drops in price by 20 cents after I leave the store, I can then sue Wal-Mart for damages? Hot damn! I’m going to start watching for those falling prices and little yellow smiley faces.

Read

Tech curmudgeon John C. Dvorak (the C stands for cranky) points the spotlight of criticism on Apple for its blatant act of bricking unlocked iPhones. He points out that in many overseas markets unlocked phones are common place, and a lucrative business. Hey, John… I agree with you, but trying to get Apple to change its policies is like trying to wrestle a half ton alligator. It’s a futile effort and just makes the gator angry.

Read